Voyager

how come the only time i have been happy or able to cope with the whole matt mess is while i was watching the Voyager Marathon that was going on on Spike?

the only way i could get him off of my mind is when the delta quadrant consumed all of my attention. when commercials came on i had a problem not crying, but once the show was back, boy was he gone.

and every time that i had to stop watching it for some reason or another (going out for shopping, or going to work here at the end of the week) i've gotten thoroughly pissed off and sad.

it's too bad i can't watch it until the end of time so i don't have to deal with the breakup, and i don't have to deal with the fact that i don't know what i'm gonna do when and if this is over for good. because i can't bear to think about that.

Smelly Girls and Boys

why is it that when matt says to me "babe, you really stink u should take a shower*" i smell myself and really... i smell like skin. i don't smell nice and fresh and clean, but i don't smell bad. and i fight him on it (although i do take a shower because well, why not?) but he swears that i stink and i swear that i smell like warm skin.

and then when i work very hard all day and work up a sweat and come home and i can tell that i smell bad... oh man do i need a shower... i apologize to matt because of it and he goes "you don't smell bad, stop worrying"

explain that to me pls.

we both agree when he smells bad, why can't we agree when i do?

*yeah, i know, smelling each other? we've been together too long. i realized that once about 8 months ago when he said "scratch my ass" and i did as if he asked me to scratch his back instead. we've been together too too long.